¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.01

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-01 983

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?

We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?


We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
>> We can know various news, information, and how to keep in touch with our friends through the social media/networking sites.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
>> But, these days, there are issues that come from social media platforms.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy. 
>> Even now, crimes such as stalking someone also happen through lack of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
>> In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are a battlefield these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
>> For example, more people believe in wrong information.
OR >> For example, more people believe in false pieces of information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
>> If I post a comment "Your information is wrong", that starts a keyboard war.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
>> Later, they insult the owner's profile pictures, that person's job, place of residence, and they insult that person childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
>> So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battles.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
>> Fighting through the internet is something that makes me tired.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.
>> Living in the internet world is not good for our mental and physical health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130312 When you are stessed or tired, what do you do for relax? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 969
130311 What are your thoughts on the role of war in shaping the course... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 2
130310 Day10 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 0
130309 Should schools should have dress code? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1055
130308 What are some measures that we can do to reduce our carbon... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1702
130307 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1416
130306 What is your own definition of school discipline and behavior... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 3
130305 homework 08.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 817
130304 How would your friends describe you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1005
130303 What do you think is the best place to travel to? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 970
130302 My favorite part about school ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1269
130301 Is it too late to solve climate change? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1054
130300 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 717
130299 When do you worry a lot? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130298 Impulsive shopping experience ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1016
130297 Do you respect people who can drink a lot? Why or why not? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130296 Which do you think is more important, modern dance or... °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1217
130295 WRITING TASK: What do you think is the most valuable thing in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 5
130294 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1593
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1046

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04