¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.01

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-01 1032

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?

We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?


We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
>> We can know various news, information, and how to keep in touch with our friends through the social media/networking sites.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
>> But, these days, there are issues that come from social media platforms.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy. 
>> Even now, crimes such as stalking someone also happen through lack of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
>> In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are a battlefield these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
>> For example, more people believe in wrong information.
OR >> For example, more people believe in false pieces of information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
>> If I post a comment "Your information is wrong", that starts a keyboard war.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
>> Later, they insult the owner's profile pictures, that person's job, place of residence, and they insult that person childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
>> So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battles.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
>> Fighting through the internet is something that makes me tired.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.
>> Living in the internet world is not good for our mental and physical health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130823 What is a unique talent you have? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 415
130822 If you wrote a letter to your government, what would you write... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2
130821 Is it sometimes okay to give things up? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 859
130820 Are there any superstitions or beliefs in your country related... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130819 According to a survey, over half of the Korean population has... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 883
130818 What three (3) adjectives would you use to describe your... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 832
130817 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"The happiest... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130816 Homework- What did you do last weekend? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 844
130815 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 524
130814 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: Do you like having a family gathering? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 5
130813 What are the disadvantages of living in a bustling city? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 498
130812 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What have you lost while traveling? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130811 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 470
130810 Do you love your neighborhood? Please explain your answer ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 772
130809 HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Do you stay in touch with all of the... ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 793
130808 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 864
130807 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 727
130806 WRITING TASK: What is your biggest dream? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 7
130805 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 4
130804 I stopped answering and thought. \"Did you really call me?\" À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1043

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04