¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.01

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-01 2017

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?

We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think there are issues with privacy and social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook?


We can know various news, information, and how to live our friends through the social media/networking.
>> We can know various news, information, and how to keep in touch with our friends through the social media/networking sites.
But, these days there are issues that come from the social media platform.
>> But, these days, there are issues that come from social media platforms.
Even them, crimes such as stalk someone people also happen through of privacy. 
>> Even now, crimes such as stalking someone also happen through lack of privacy.
In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are battlefield in these days.
>> In addition, I feel that the social media/networking worlds are a battlefield these days.
For example, more people believe in the wrong information.
>> For example, more people believe in wrong information.
OR >> For example, more people believe in false pieces of information.
If I post a comment "Your information is wrong." that, will be begins the comment battle.
>> If I post a comment "Your information is wrong", that starts a keyboard war.
Later, they insult at the profile picture's or they find their job, place of residence, and they insult childishly.
>> Later, they insult the owner's profile pictures, that person's job, place of residence, and they insult that person childishly.
So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battle.
>> So, I don't post comments on social media to avoid these battles.
Fighting through the Internet world is something that makes tired only me.
>> Fighting through the internet is something that makes me tired.
It's not good health to live in the internet world.
>> Living in the internet world is not good for our mental and physical health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136946 What do you often do on Children\'s Day? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1
136945 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136944 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136943 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136942 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1
136941 Which products would you like to sell if you had your own store? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1732
136940 my favorite animal ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1566
136939 Have you ever experienced stiffness? If yes, how did you handle... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1660
136938 Gossip ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 2
136937 Could you tell me about your family? Write at least three things... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1609
136936 Who do you think is the worst superhero? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1457
136935 Describe a good memory you had when you were young. ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-04 1394
136934 homework 05.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 1728
136933 Complete each sentence using the correct correlative conjunction... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 2
136932 Is dancing a good hobby? Why? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 1272
136931 The best magic performer ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 2449
136930 >> What are your thoughts on Korean dramas or movies? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 1
136929 2024.05.02 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 1480
136928 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 3
136927 2024.05.03 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04