¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-28 4741

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?


I have a lot of fear since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?



I have a lot of fear since I was young.
>> I have a lot of fears since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
>> Actually, it's not a biggie because it's all in the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
>> Nevertheless, one of the reasons why I had fears is because I feel conscious about the other people around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
>> In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious about people around them.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
>> If my behavior is different from other people, they see me as an unusual person.
OR >> If my behavior is different from other people, they think of me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
>> For example, when I was student, if I ask a question to my teacher during class, other students or teachers around me didn't like that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
>> That's because they are scolded for the delayed class time or the delayed break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
>> CORRECT!
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129842 Do you believe that achieving one\'s dreams requires luck, hard... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 3317
129841 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 2809
129840 What\'s your thought on the teacher choosing to commit suicide... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 3
129839 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 4293
129838 homework 07.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 4741
129837 Say something about 1 of your closest friend. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2849
129836 What do you love about your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129835 My schedule! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2917
129834 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3189
129833 What is your opinion on whether teenagers should have the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3277
129832 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 0
129831 Homework for 05/19 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129830 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2656
129829 They seem to be abusing it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3315
129828 Homework for 05/12 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2
129827 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2599
129826 WRITING TASK: How do you manage a busy weekend? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129825 I think no. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3146
129824 I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3878
129823 That\'s because everyone has different genes and environments. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3016

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04