¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-28 2087

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?


I have a lot of fear since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?



I have a lot of fear since I was young.
>> I have a lot of fears since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
>> Actually, it's not a biggie because it's all in the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
>> Nevertheless, one of the reasons why I had fears is because I feel conscious about the other people around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
>> In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious about people around them.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
>> If my behavior is different from other people, they see me as an unusual person.
OR >> If my behavior is different from other people, they think of me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
>> For example, when I was student, if I ask a question to my teacher during class, other students or teachers around me didn't like that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
>> That's because they are scolded for the delayed class time or the delayed break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
>> CORRECT!
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128746 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128745 What are some ways that artificial intelligence could be used to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 4
128744 My favorite movie ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 180
128743 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 264
128742 What is your favorite month and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 433
128741 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 376
128740 6/8 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 534
128739 When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 163
128738 Rock and roll!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 198
128737 What house chores do you do? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128736 What does a holiday mean to you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 428
128735 How much money do you think a grade schooler should receive as... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 318
128734 Why do you think it\'s easier to have bad habits than good ones? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 168
128733 Have you ever thought of giving up your holiday due to... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 470
128732 I am a angry bird ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128731 Writing Task 0607 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2
128730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128729 What advice can you give to people who are depressed? Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 328
128728 How do you know when to stop eating? Is it easy to eat too much? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 287
128727 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04