¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-28 2068

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?


I have a lot of fear since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?



I have a lot of fear since I was young.
>> I have a lot of fears since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
>> Actually, it's not a biggie because it's all in the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
>> Nevertheless, one of the reasons why I had fears is because I feel conscious about the other people around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
>> In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious about people around them.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
>> If my behavior is different from other people, they see me as an unusual person.
OR >> If my behavior is different from other people, they think of me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
>> For example, when I was student, if I ask a question to my teacher during class, other students or teachers around me didn't like that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
>> That's because they are scolded for the delayed class time or the delayed break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
>> CORRECT!
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128858 Please describe your bedroom. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 0
128857 What is a healthy business competition? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128856 How has technology changed society? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128855 How to choose the restraunt when i visit to the new city. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 307
128854 How do you make friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 279
128853 My most expensive gift ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 217
128852 What is your most expensive gift that you received? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 421
128851 I think I spend a lot of money to show off, to be... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 461
128850 School homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 4
128849 What makes your school special? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128848 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128847 If you were a member of the orchestra, would you want a robot or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 5
128846 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128845 If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 273
128844 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 263
128843 homework 06.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 485
128842 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128841 Skin color ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128840 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1578
128839 Why do most people these days prefer online shopping? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04