¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-28 2649

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?


I have a lot of fear since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?



I have a lot of fear since I was young.
>> I have a lot of fears since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
>> Actually, it's not a biggie because it's all in the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
>> Nevertheless, one of the reasons why I had fears is because I feel conscious about the other people around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
>> In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious about people around them.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
>> If my behavior is different from other people, they see me as an unusual person.
OR >> If my behavior is different from other people, they think of me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
>> For example, when I was student, if I ask a question to my teacher during class, other students or teachers around me didn't like that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
>> That's because they are scolded for the delayed class time or the delayed break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
>> CORRECT!
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131174 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1054
131173 What qualities do you look for in a good movie? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1373
131172 Can you name a movie or TV show that was filmed in your city or... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 0
131171 Are you a hard worker? What motivates you to work? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131170 Being risk taker ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1328
131169 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1131
131168 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131167 I don\'t like live the tallest building. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131166 What¡¯s the nicest thing you¡¯ve ever done for your friends? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131165 homework 09.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1078
131164 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131163 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131162 would you rather do homework do chores?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 820
131161 Young people spend a lot of their \"formative years\" with... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131160 Which school subject is your least favorite and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1184
131159 Being an easy and relaxed person °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 3
131158 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1241
131157 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1211
131156 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What makes my... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131155 Are you afraid of what other people think of you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 818

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04