¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-28 2931

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?


I have a lot of fear since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Children can be scared of many things, real or imagined.
Were you frightened by anything as a child?



I have a lot of fear since I was young.
>> I have a lot of fears since I was young.
Actually, it's not biggie to on the past now.
>> Actually, it's not a biggie because it's all in the past now.
Nevertheless, one of the reason why I had scared, because of the conscious of other around me.
>> Nevertheless, one of the reasons why I had fears is because I feel conscious about the other people around me.
In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious from around people.
>> In my opinion, most Koreans are self-conscious about people around them.
If my behavior is different from other people, they are understand about me as an unusual person.
>> If my behavior is different from other people, they see me as an unusual person.
OR >> If my behavior is different from other people, they think of me as an unusual person.
For example, when I was student if I ask a question to my teacher during class
other student or teacher around me didn't like it that.
>> For example, when I was student, if I ask a question to my teacher during class, other students or teachers around me didn't like that.
Because, they are scolded for delay class time or delay the break time of friends around them.
>> That's because they are scolded for the delayed class time or the delayed break time of friends around them.
So, I was afraid and stressed of this environment.
>> CORRECT!
These days, I feel more comfortable because I live my own way.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133986 homework 01.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1035
133985 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1101
133984 What would you do if you had a few extra hours in a day? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133983 Aside from diet and exercise, what are some ways to keep... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1000
133982 Is it better to talk about and share opinions or keep them to... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 0
133981 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 348
133980 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1596
133979 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 2
133978 Cathedral ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1058
133977 All learning is worth it, and it feels good to be able to fill... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1097
133976 About my job in the future ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 0
133975 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1105
133974 What would you plant if you had a big garden? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1294
133973 ·¹½ºÅä¶û ¼±Åà Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 930
133972 If you were left on a deserted island with either your worst... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 2
133971 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133970 What activity can you do when it is raining? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1196
133969 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1103
133968 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1361
133967 Make up makes people beautiful ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1210

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04