¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-07-28 2824

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs.
Of course, each person has a different desire to think importantly, but I think the most representative needs such as sleep and appetite make a happy and enjoyable day.
Sleep makes my nerves less sharp, makes others understand, and makes me feel a good morning.
But I don't think it's good to satisfy too many needs because it makes me lazy.
In the end, desire is the role of spending today happily and generously, and I think falling into the comfort of that moment is an act that ruins me.
In other words, I don't think it's a waste of time if you don't sleep too much.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Da Hye,

Thank you for your fantastic homework! Your ideas about the importance of sleep and balancing our needs were great. I liked how you explained how sleep helps you feel good and calms your nerves. Your thoughts on not satisfying too many needs to avoid laziness were smart. Keep up the excellent work and keep sharing your wonderful ideas!

~Teacher Cathy


I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs.

>>CORRECT

OR>> I believe sleep is essential for humans.
Of course, each person has a different desire to think importantly, but I think the most representative needs such as sleep and appetite make a happy and enjoyable day.

>>Of course, each person has different desires, but I believe that the most essential needs, like sleep and appetite, lead to a happy and enjoyable day.  

Sleep makes my nerves less sharp, makes others understand, and makes me feel a good morning.

>>Sleep makes my nerves less sharp, helps others understand me, and makes me feel refreshed in the morning.
But I don't think it's good to satisfy too many needs because it makes me lazy.

>>CORRECT

OR>>However, I feel that satisfying too many needs may lead to laziness, so it's better to avoid it.
In the end, desire is the role of spending today happily and generously, and I think falling into the comfort of that moment is an act that ruins me.

>> In the end, desire plays a role in spending today happily and generously, but I believe indulging in the comfort of the moment can be harmful to me.
In other words, I don't think it's a waste of time if you don't sleep too much.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127377 Do you have a five year plan for your life? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1644
127376 4/12 homework. ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 607
127375 4/10 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 2
127374 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 696
127373 My color ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1
127372 Tell me! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 633
127371 How do you celebrate Christmas? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 0
127370 What makes restaurant be great ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1
127369 Write an essay about your favorite travel destination. ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 5
127368 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1
127367 To be healthy ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 921
127366 definition of \'hard work\' is depend on interest of work. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 3
127365 Please share one tragic accident that has happened in your... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 769
127364 My favorite travel destination ÃÖ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127363 1. obey 2. observe 3. report 4. neglect 5. performance Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 682
127362 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 2
127361 Homework for 04/11 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127360 Homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 2
127359 It¡¯s natural! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 601
127358 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04