¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-07-28 2697

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs.
Of course, each person has a different desire to think importantly, but I think the most representative needs such as sleep and appetite make a happy and enjoyable day.
Sleep makes my nerves less sharp, makes others understand, and makes me feel a good morning.
But I don't think it's good to satisfy too many needs because it makes me lazy.
In the end, desire is the role of spending today happily and generously, and I think falling into the comfort of that moment is an act that ruins me.
In other words, I don't think it's a waste of time if you don't sleep too much.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Da Hye,

Thank you for your fantastic homework! Your ideas about the importance of sleep and balancing our needs were great. I liked how you explained how sleep helps you feel good and calms your nerves. Your thoughts on not satisfying too many needs to avoid laziness were smart. Keep up the excellent work and keep sharing your wonderful ideas!

~Teacher Cathy


I think sleep is a necessary factor for one of the human needs.

>>CORRECT

OR>> I believe sleep is essential for humans.
Of course, each person has a different desire to think importantly, but I think the most representative needs such as sleep and appetite make a happy and enjoyable day.

>>Of course, each person has different desires, but I believe that the most essential needs, like sleep and appetite, lead to a happy and enjoyable day.  

Sleep makes my nerves less sharp, makes others understand, and makes me feel a good morning.

>>Sleep makes my nerves less sharp, helps others understand me, and makes me feel refreshed in the morning.
But I don't think it's good to satisfy too many needs because it makes me lazy.

>>CORRECT

OR>>However, I feel that satisfying too many needs may lead to laziness, so it's better to avoid it.
In the end, desire is the role of spending today happily and generously, and I think falling into the comfort of that moment is an act that ruins me.

>> In the end, desire plays a role in spending today happily and generously, but I believe indulging in the comfort of the moment can be harmful to me.
In other words, I don't think it's a waste of time if you don't sleep too much.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128252 I don\'t want it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1142
128251 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 0
128250 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128249 Is playing video games good or bad? Why? Kindly answer in not... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 752
128248 A musical instrument I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1285
128247 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128246 What is your favorite fruit and why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128245 What is your favorite computer games? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 890
128244 To keep passion alive ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1020
128243 Should plastic be banned in Korea? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1277
128242 Home work. ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 3
128241 Should plastic be banned in Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1396
128240 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1169
128239 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 0
128238 Homework for 05/16 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2
128237 Do you agree with the following statement: home schooling... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2
128236 1 Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1035
128235 Homework for 05/15 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128234 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2
128233 5/16 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1163

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04