¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.24

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-24 2977

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?

These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?


These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
>> These days, indoor sport playgrounds are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
>> Examples of these are gyms, indoor water parks, indoor ski resorts, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
>> So, if I want go there, I'm able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
>> The water park is also safe because it is a well-made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
>> CORRECT!
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
>> We can't see anything at night because it is dark outdoors.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
>> If I have an accident in the water, it would be difficult for me to solve it.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
>> CORRECT!
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.
>> In conclusion, swimming outside is very dangerous at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126776 What situation excite and motivate you? ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1
126775 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1
126774 The exercising. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 0
126773 In your own opinion, how has technology helped the people ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 2
126772 What kind of advertisements attract your attention? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1100
126771 3/22 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1338
126770 In your opinion, what are the best places in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 2
126769 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 638
126768 The most delicious fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 652
126767 I don¡¯t see much¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1253
126766 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 808
126765 What do you think about TV series? Do you like watching it? Why... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 2
126764 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 6
126763 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 1021
126762 How would you define success? At what point in your life would... ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 506
126761 Parents work Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 1
126760 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 8
126759 homework 03.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 579
126758 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 11
126757 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-21 666

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04