¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.24

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-24 2786

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?

These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?


These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
>> These days, indoor sport playgrounds are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
>> Examples of these are gyms, indoor water parks, indoor ski resorts, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
>> So, if I want go there, I'm able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
>> The water park is also safe because it is a well-made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
>> CORRECT!
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
>> We can't see anything at night because it is dark outdoors.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
>> If I have an accident in the water, it would be difficult for me to solve it.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
>> CORRECT!
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.
>> In conclusion, swimming outside is very dangerous at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128333 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 1
128332 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 1096
128331 tia ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 1183
128330 My teaching style ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 1283
128329 Answer : Choose one member from your family and describe him/her... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 932
128328 Gossips, Rumors. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 943
128327 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 1126
128326 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 1107
128325 Which country will you repeatedly visit and the reason behind it? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 3
128324 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 1347
128323 Homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 1004
128322 lesson À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 1000
128321 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 986
128320 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 1040
128319 homework 05.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 955
128318 The Gyeongju World is excellent. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 3
128317 Does your family go to the theatre? What movies do you watch? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 0
128316 In three to five sentences (3-5), talk about your \"worst day.\" ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 1358
128315 What activities or games do you play with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 1159
128314 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for cyberbullying ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 977

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04