¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.24

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-24 1987

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?

These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?


These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
>> These days, indoor sport playgrounds are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
>> Examples of these are gyms, indoor water parks, indoor ski resorts, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
>> So, if I want go there, I'm able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
>> The water park is also safe because it is a well-made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
>> CORRECT!
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
>> We can't see anything at night because it is dark outdoors.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
>> If I have an accident in the water, it would be difficult for me to solve it.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
>> CORRECT!
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.
>> In conclusion, swimming outside is very dangerous at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130160 Does what we see on television and in movies influence people to... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 901
130159 What do you look for in a good restaurant? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 665
130158 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 1099
130157 What is your best travel tip? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 756
130156 Do you think there¡¯d be fewer wars if all countries were ruled... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3
130155 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1732
130154 homework 08.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1532
130153 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1004
130152 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130151 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 983
130150 Why is laughter the best medicine? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1413
130149 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1119
130148 Would you like your name to be put in the Walk of Fame? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 883
130147 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130146 If you\'re talking about rules to follow between love, I think... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 552
130145 The first thing that comes to mind is the illegal discharge of... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1765
130144 News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 951
130143 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 981
130142 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1104
130141 Are there times when jokes are bad and should not be told? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1419

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04