¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.24

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-24 2944

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?

These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?


These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
>> These days, indoor sport playgrounds are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
>> Examples of these are gyms, indoor water parks, indoor ski resorts, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
>> So, if I want go there, I'm able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
>> The water park is also safe because it is a well-made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
>> CORRECT!
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
>> We can't see anything at night because it is dark outdoors.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
>> If I have an accident in the water, it would be difficult for me to solve it.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
>> CORRECT!
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.
>> In conclusion, swimming outside is very dangerous at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133169 My tastes for some clothing brands ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2102
133168 Thinking of me ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1423
133167 Rush hour in Seoul °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133166 My decision for next year ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1772
133165 Why is it not good to overwork? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1838
133164 homework 12.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2545
133163 Is your hometown famous for anything? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 3
133162 unit 12. homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133161 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1072
133160 Should students have the option of grading their teachers? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133159 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you afraid... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2
133158 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133157 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1350
133156 Where i want to go in one country ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2357
133155 What is the best thing to do after graduation? ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133154 Describe your experience watching Cats. ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133153 WRITING TASK: Do you think the types of collections people like... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133152 Why do you think there are so many different languages in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1299
133151 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1081
133150 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1195

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04