¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.24

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-24 3109

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?

These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of night swimming?


These days, indoor sport playground are well-made.
>> These days, indoor sport playgrounds are well-made.
For example, gym, indoor water park, indoor ski resort, etc.
>> Examples of these are gyms, indoor water parks, indoor ski resorts, etc.
So, If I want go there, able to go there, no matter what time.
>> So, if I want go there, I'm able to go there, no matter what time.
The water park is also safe because of its well made place.
>> The water park is also safe because it is a well-made place.
But, it is dangerous to swim in the sea, river, and valley at night.
>> CORRECT!
We can't see anything at night because outdoor is dark.
>> We can't see anything at night because it is dark outdoors.
If I have an accident in the water, I will be difficult to solve.
>> If I have an accident in the water, it would be difficult for me to solve it.
In addition, experts also don't swim well outside at night.
>> CORRECT!
In conclusion, outside swimming is vary dangerous at night.
>> In conclusion, swimming outside is very dangerous at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134559 What was the best offer you had received last year and why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1
134558 What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1301
134557 2023.02.07 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 2
134556 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1689
134555 How often do you shopping? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1
134554 2/6 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1
134553 Describe a memorable holiday you have had. Where did you go?... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1740
134552 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 4
134551 essay 1 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1565
134550 How important is customer service in your job? Do you agree that... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1471
134549 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1248
134548 Scientists make more contribution to the world. ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1874
134547 Are there countries that you will never visit? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1494
134546 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 120
134545 homework5 ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 4
134544 What are some reasons why some people are afraid of public... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1707
134543 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1864
134542 what are the pros and cons of uniforms for school kids ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1299
134541 homework 2024-02-07 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 2
134540 Driving ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-07 1580

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04