무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Have you seen a hospital that gives better benefits lately?

작성자: 박*경
2023-07-24 1104

회원님의 영작문

Well, honestly, I don't know about the US hospitals' benefits exactly. However, most city hospitals in the US tend to have good benefits for their employees such as pensions and insurances.
For example, in the case of Jacobi medical center in New York, they give the guarantee of retirement for employees so that they can work until their retirement age . Plus, the hospital acknowledges the careers of the past of workers such as that of South Korea, so they can receive a salary as an experienced nurse despite of new hiring in the US. Besides, for children of the employees, the hospital give subsidies 6000$ yearly per a kid regardless of the number of kids. Lastly, for the employees, there are many pension options called 401K. So, depending on the investment amount of their salaries, they can deposit their salaries on their 401K pension, and since from 10 years later, they could receive the pension until dying.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Jane!  It's good to see you here on the composition page one again.

Going to your church really brings you a lot of goodness and blessings. You may not know a lot of hospital benefits before but as days go by, you can meet your fellow Korean nurses sharing their experiences and know-how of their lives as nurses there in New York. 

As you have detailed below, these benefits are really enticing not only for you but also for your family especially your son. In the end, loyalty is also well-valued in the USA. So, always consider your options and live well and joyfully.

Below are very well-written sentences that you made wield by very good transition words and conjunctions. Moreover, your idioms and careful choices of words made this answer very easily understood and packed with meaning. Overall, excellent output!

See you again next time on this page!

-T. Donna~

Well, honestly, I don't know about the US hospitals' benefits exactly. 
>> Correct!

However, most city hospitals in the US tend to have good benefits for their employees such as pensions and insurances.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

For example, in the case of Jacobi medical center in New York, they give the guarantee of retirement for employees so that they can work until their retirement age . 
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Plus, the hospital acknowledges the careers of the past of workers such as that of South Korea, so they can receive a salary as an experienced nurse despite of new hiring in the US. 
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Besides, for children of the employees, the hospital give subsidies 6000$ yearly per a kid regardless of the number of kids. 
>> Besides, for children of the employees, the hospital give subsidies of $6000 yearly per a kid regardless of the number of kids. 

Lastly, for the employees, there are many pension options called 401K. 
>> Correct!

So, depending on the investment amount of their salaries, they can deposit their salaries on their 401K pension, and since from 10 years later, they could receive the pension until dying.
>> So, depending on the investment amount of their salaries, they can deposit their salaries on their 401K pension, and 10 years later, they could receive the pension until death.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130120 How would your friends describe you? 박*현 완료 2023-08-10 1316
130119 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... 조*지 완료 2023-08-10 1
130118 Technology changes a lot 김*우 완료 2023-08-10 0
130117 What is your least favorite? Why? 오*혁 완료 2023-08-10 2
130116 Homework 주*연 완료 2023-08-10 1882
130115 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-08-10 1238
130114 What do you think is best to mention about your introduction?... 박*아 완료 2023-08-10 1567
130113 Self Introduction 박*아 완료 2023-08-10 1022
130112 Should schools offer more art and music program? 김*순 완료 2023-08-10 1
130111 How does the pursuit of purpose change over different stages of... 정*아 완료 2023-08-10 723
130110 What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling alone? 김*연 완료 2023-08-10 0
130109 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG 완료 2023-08-10 1083
130108 homework essay(2023. 8. 10.) 서*은 완료 2023-08-10 0
130107 human right 권*희 완료 2023-08-10 860
130106 What i am passionate about 홍*기 완료 2023-08-10 1419
130105 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-08-10 916
130104 What harm does pollution do to the environment? 이*민 완료 2023-08-10 1146
130103 Give them more rewards 김*우 완료 2023-08-10 0
130102 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-08-10 1636
130101 How does having a clear purpose influence goal-setting and... 정*아 완료 2023-08-10 1115

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]