¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fake desire

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-07-21 3199

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts.

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you that many people are encouraged and envious because of what other people have posted on their social media, but if they understand and know he aftermath of traveling even with financial constraints then they would try to plan something that will not compromise their finances. 
Have a great weekend.
Aki~

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts
>>>  CORRECT!

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.
>>>  Social media make compulsive and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.
>>> People need to show envious travel stories and photos to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.
>>>  The number of people living as a slave of SNS is increasing.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129072 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2680
129071 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1879
129070   If you could have it your way, how would you like to... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1734
129069 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1328
129068 What kind of second job do you want to have? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2511
129067 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1678
129066 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1354
129065 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129064 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1454
129063 How can you say that a country has a good leader? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 0
129062 Do you leave confidential information in a voice mail? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129061 Should the fashion industry use models that look more like... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1267
129060 Who is the person you admire the most? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2393
129059 Should cell phones be allowed at school? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1532
129058 Night¡¯s sleep Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2338
129057 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1931
129056 HOMEWORK1 ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129055 Writing Task 0623 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129054 Are you a health-conscious person? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129053 Which among your goals have you already achived? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 853

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04