¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fake desire

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-07-21 2705

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts.

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you that many people are encouraged and envious because of what other people have posted on their social media, but if they understand and know he aftermath of traveling even with financial constraints then they would try to plan something that will not compromise their finances. 
Have a great weekend.
Aki~

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts
>>>  CORRECT!

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.
>>>  Social media make compulsive and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.
>>> People need to show envious travel stories and photos to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.
>>>  The number of people living as a slave of SNS is increasing.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129102 Writing Task 0626 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129101 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129100 WRITING TASK: What advice would you give to people starting in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129099 The best thing about Korea ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2085
129098 What are your first-day expectations at work? Share your answer... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1824
129097 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129096 energy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1415
129095 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1581
129094 26.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129093 HOMEWORK2 ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 0
129092 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1159
129091 homework 06.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 884
129090 What\'s your thought on victim blaming in cases of... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 5
129089 What insect are you afraid most? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1302
129088 English interview Question list ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1259
129087 Do you like rain? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129086 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1569
129085 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 0
129084 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2067
129083 Why do many people like living in the city? What do you think of... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04