¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fake desire

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-07-21 2721

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts.

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you that many people are encouraged and envious because of what other people have posted on their social media, but if they understand and know he aftermath of traveling even with financial constraints then they would try to plan something that will not compromise their finances. 
Have a great weekend.
Aki~

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts
>>>  CORRECT!

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.
>>>  Social media make compulsive and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.
>>> People need to show envious travel stories and photos to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.
>>>  The number of people living as a slave of SNS is increasing.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130508 What\'s your favorite snack at the movies? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 2174
130507 If you will learn a new language, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1034
130506 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 0
130505 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 0
130504 What safety measures can we do to keep ourselves safe from... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1677
130503 Why do students in Korea need to go to many academies? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 0
130502 What can your government do to alleviate with the problem of... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 2
130501 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1040
130500 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1
130499 WRITING TASK: What is your favorite activity with your mother? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 2
130498 Writing Exercise: How do you manage your work-life balance? ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1170
130497 What danger does your country pose to the global environment? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 0
130496 Describe a perfect weekend for you ÁÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1
130495 Do you have any exercise or fitness goals that you¡¯d like to... º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1
130494 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1283
130493 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1123
130492 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 868
130491 Why English fluency is significant for you? ÁÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1
130490 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 1122
130489 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 773

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04