¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

fake desire

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-07-21 3360

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts.

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you that many people are encouraged and envious because of what other people have posted on their social media, but if they understand and know he aftermath of traveling even with financial constraints then they would try to plan something that will not compromise their finances. 
Have a great weekend.
Aki~

It is not a natural phenomenon in some parts
>>>  CORRECT!

Social media make compulse and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.
>>>  Social media make compulsive and compare with others in many cases even summer vacation.

People need to show envious travel story and photo to show others despite financial constraints.
>>> People need to show envious travel stories and photos to show others despite financial constraints.

The number of people living as the salve of SNS is increasing.
>>>  The number of people living as a slave of SNS is increasing.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132246 Can abusers inherit their characters from their parents or do... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132245 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132244 The purpose of the Doljabi °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132243 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1609
132242 What do you hope for your own future? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132241 What do you think are the cultural differences between Ulsan and... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 0
132240 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2758
132239 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°How do you show... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2
132238 Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2748
132237 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1976
132236 A letter of self introduction ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2282
132235 homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1559
132234 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 0
132233 How can we make our cities safer places to live? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2089
132232 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1
132231 WRITING TASK: Who are you grateful for and why? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 3
132230 A role of press ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2176
132229 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1628
132228 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 2757
132227 Why freedome of speech is important ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04