¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2023.7.20 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*»è
2023-07-20 3170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the biggest issue in Korea is low birth rate.
Now the birth rate is 0.8 per family. So army and many small companys are suffering from manpower shortage. To resolve that problem, the government should expand benefits about childbirth. Another solution is improving about view of marrige.
Some young generation have negative viewpoint about marrige. Because marrige is difficult task in terms of cost and sacrifice. So many young generation like me think that marrige is just choice, not a duty.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Isaac!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I think the biggest issue in Korea is low birth rate.
>> CORRECT!
Now the birth rate is 0.8 per family. 
>> CORRECT!
So army and many small companys are suffering from manpower shortage. 
>> So army and many small companies are suffering from manpower shortage. 
OR >> So army and many small companies suffer from manpower shortage.
To resolve that problem, the government should expand benefits about childbirth.
>> CORRECT!
Another solution is improving about view of marrige.
>> Another solution is improving the view about marriage.
Some young generation have negative viewpoint about marrige. 
>> Some young generation have negative viewpoint about marriage
Because marrige is difficult task in terms of cost and sacrifice. 
>> It is because marriage is a difficult task in terms of cost and sacrifice. 
OR >> It is because marriage is a difficult task in terms of finance and efforts. 
So many young generation like me think that marrige is just choice, not a duty.
>> So many young generation like me think that marriage is just choice, not a duty.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137500 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1
137499 What food do you want to learn to cook? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1
137498 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 0
137497 homework 05.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1340
137496 howework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 0
137495 Homework ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 4
137494 Pronunciation drill ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2047
137493 2024.05.28 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1260
137492 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 995
137491 trip ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 0
137490 impression ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1
137489 5/29(Wed.) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1710
137488 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1351
137487 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2
137486 Mar 27th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1215
137485 How does the popularity of K-pop and Korean fashion impact... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1491
137484 What are the nonliving things? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1084
137483 Questions proposal ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1252
137482 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1371
137481 Home work for 05/27 Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04