¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sign of aging

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-07-19 2395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can easily find sign of aging when I get some weight. I can not eat much more than before but I have gotten some weight. I am into running, so even I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight. I have to try harder training for constant my body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Thomas! It is wonderful to see you here on the composition page.

I totally agree that at the age of 30's, getting rid of calories is such a difficult thing to achieve. Hence, we have to be very mindful of our food intake as well as the increased number of physical activities we engage in.

Below, I read a very well-written homework answer. Your writing demonstrates very good syntax (arrangement of words) as well as diction (correct choice of words) to create a systematic and logical idea. Please go over some of my grammar suggestions and always keep them in mind. You have done excellent for this homework!

See you again in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I can easily find sign of aging when I get some weight. 
>> Correct!
Or: I can easily find a sign of aging when I (get/ gain) some weight. 

I can not eat much more than before but I have gotten some weight. 
>> Correct!

I am into running, so even I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight. 
>>  I am into running, so even if I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight.  Very good sentence!

I have to try harder training for constant my body.
>> Correct!
Or: I have to try harder training my body constantly.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126883 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 3
126882 homework 03.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 520
126881 Hw ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 0
126880 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 559
126879 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 717
126878 What have you lost while traveling? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 2
126877 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 507
126876 Homework ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 670
126875 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 1421
126874 3/22 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 2
126873 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 0
126872 Importance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 1
126871 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 0
126870 What superpower would you like to have? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 1
126869 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 693
126868 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 1
126867 homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 888
126866 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 1
126865 3.24 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 531
126864 3.24 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 615

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04