¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sign of aging

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-07-19 3096

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can easily find sign of aging when I get some weight. I can not eat much more than before but I have gotten some weight. I am into running, so even I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight. I have to try harder training for constant my body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Thomas! It is wonderful to see you here on the composition page.

I totally agree that at the age of 30's, getting rid of calories is such a difficult thing to achieve. Hence, we have to be very mindful of our food intake as well as the increased number of physical activities we engage in.

Below, I read a very well-written homework answer. Your writing demonstrates very good syntax (arrangement of words) as well as diction (correct choice of words) to create a systematic and logical idea. Please go over some of my grammar suggestions and always keep them in mind. You have done excellent for this homework!

See you again in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I can easily find sign of aging when I get some weight. 
>> Correct!
Or: I can easily find a sign of aging when I (get/ gain) some weight. 

I can not eat much more than before but I have gotten some weight. 
>> Correct!

I am into running, so even I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight. 
>>  I am into running, so even if I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight.  Very good sentence!

I have to try harder training for constant my body.
>> Correct!
Or: I have to try harder training my body constantly.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129617 Day6 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 3
129616 lesson 14. cafe °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3388
129615 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0
129614 5things ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129613 homework 07.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3093
129612 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129611 The best time for me to sleep ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2674
129610 Do you like shopping? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 5704
129609 What are some new features offered by streaming services that... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 5
129608 Writing Task 0717 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0
129607 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129606 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2523
129605 2023.7.18 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2518
129604 What is your dream summer vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3763
129603 After natural disaster¡¦. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2673
129602 Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3438
129601 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2859
129600 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 4631
129599 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2902
129598 English ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2820

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04