¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sign of aging

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-07-19 1707

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can easily find sign of aging when I get some weight. I can not eat much more than before but I have gotten some weight. I am into running, so even I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight. I have to try harder training for constant my body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Thomas! It is wonderful to see you here on the composition page.

I totally agree that at the age of 30's, getting rid of calories is such a difficult thing to achieve. Hence, we have to be very mindful of our food intake as well as the increased number of physical activities we engage in.

Below, I read a very well-written homework answer. Your writing demonstrates very good syntax (arrangement of words) as well as diction (correct choice of words) to create a systematic and logical idea. Please go over some of my grammar suggestions and always keep them in mind. You have done excellent for this homework!

See you again in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I can easily find sign of aging when I get some weight. 
>> Correct!
Or: I can easily find a sign of aging when I (get/ gain) some weight. 

I can not eat much more than before but I have gotten some weight. 
>> Correct!

I am into running, so even I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight. 
>>  I am into running, so even if I run 2-3 times a week I have gotten some weight.  Very good sentence!

I have to try harder training for constant my body.
>> Correct!
Or: I have to try harder training my body constantly.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130662 What kind of accommodation do you like to stay in when you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 0
130661 HOMEWORK-230831 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1
130660 What is the difference between Generation X and Generation Z? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 823
130659 Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 627
130658 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"My most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1
130657 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130656 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1166
130655 What are the important things to bring on a trip? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 6
130654 What does stress do to our body? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 949
130653 Do you think punishments should be strict or people should be... º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130652 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 0
130651 What did you like to do when you were a child? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130650 WRITING TASK: When do you treat your friends? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130649 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 450
130648 Do you prefer traveling alone or traveling with family and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130647 A mobile phone ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130646 How do you feel about not taking a risk at all? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 947
130645 How do you feel about advising your friends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 605
130644 Do you think bullies still have the chance to change? Why or why... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 926
130643 What are the best ways to keep yourself fit? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 806

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04