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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-07-19 1878

회원님의 영작문

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.
Because I think racism is one of the ways to fill human-generated self-esteem.
Most people want to be better off and happier than others, but they become more miserable by comparing them to others.
I think such people fill their self-esteem by disparaging others in the name of race to fill their self-esteem.
The day when racism disappears in the world should be a country on Earth, and I think it is possible if all of them live well.
Otherwise, I think the moment when only one race survives in the world will be the moment when racism disappears the fastest.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Da Hye,

Thank you for doing your homework. You're absolutely right that racism can be a challenging issue to address, but it's essential to talk about it openly and honestly. Your insights show how much you care about making the world a better place. Remember, it's okay to have different opinions and ideas. What matters is that we listen to one another and try to understand each other's perspectives. Keep up the great work, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts or ask any questions. I'm here to support you. Take care and keep shining!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe that racism is challenging to eliminate from the world.

Because I think racism is one of the ways to fill human-generated self-esteem.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because it serves as a means for some individuals to boost their self-esteem.

Most people want to be better off and happier than others, but they become more miserable by comparing them to others.

>> Most people desire to have a better and happier life than others, but this desire often leads them to feel more miserable when they start comparing themselves with others.

I think such people fill their self-esteem by disparaging others in the name of race to fill their self-esteem.

>>CORRECT

OR>> I think such individuals try to elevate their self-esteem by belittling others based on their race.

The day when racism disappears in the world should be a country on Earth, and I think it is possible if all of them live well.

>> When racism is no longer present in the world, it will be a huge achievement for all of us, and I believe it can be achieved if everyone is treated fairly and lives a good life.

Otherwise, I think the moment when only one race survives in the world will be the moment when racism disappears the fastest.

>>CORRECT

OR>> In another way, I believe that racism will fade away most quickly when there's only one race left in the world.

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