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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-07-19 1936

회원님의 영작문

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.
Because I think racism is one of the ways to fill human-generated self-esteem.
Most people want to be better off and happier than others, but they become more miserable by comparing them to others.
I think such people fill their self-esteem by disparaging others in the name of race to fill their self-esteem.
The day when racism disappears in the world should be a country on Earth, and I think it is possible if all of them live well.
Otherwise, I think the moment when only one race survives in the world will be the moment when racism disappears the fastest.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Da Hye,

Thank you for doing your homework. You're absolutely right that racism can be a challenging issue to address, but it's essential to talk about it openly and honestly. Your insights show how much you care about making the world a better place. Remember, it's okay to have different opinions and ideas. What matters is that we listen to one another and try to understand each other's perspectives. Keep up the great work, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts or ask any questions. I'm here to support you. Take care and keep shining!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe that racism is challenging to eliminate from the world.

Because I think racism is one of the ways to fill human-generated self-esteem.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because it serves as a means for some individuals to boost their self-esteem.

Most people want to be better off and happier than others, but they become more miserable by comparing them to others.

>> Most people desire to have a better and happier life than others, but this desire often leads them to feel more miserable when they start comparing themselves with others.

I think such people fill their self-esteem by disparaging others in the name of race to fill their self-esteem.

>>CORRECT

OR>> I think such individuals try to elevate their self-esteem by belittling others based on their race.

The day when racism disappears in the world should be a country on Earth, and I think it is possible if all of them live well.

>> When racism is no longer present in the world, it will be a huge achievement for all of us, and I believe it can be achieved if everyone is treated fairly and lives a good life.

Otherwise, I think the moment when only one race survives in the world will be the moment when racism disappears the fastest.

>>CORRECT

OR>> In another way, I believe that racism will fade away most quickly when there's only one race left in the world.

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[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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