¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What made it a bad trip?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2023-07-18 3421

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago. The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yun Ju! 

I appreciate you sharing your story! Always check your food before consuming it. Make sure the food is stored securely and isn't contaminated. If it has a bad smell, there's a big chance that it's already spoiled. 

- Kristine ^^ 

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago.
>> Correct.
Or >> Five years ago, my family and I went camping in Bito Island.
The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. 
>> My family and I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and lovely weather on the island.
However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. 
>> However, we had a problem when we had seafood for dinner. 
We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. 
>> We had stomachaches because of the spoiled seafood we consumed.
Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.
>> My family eventually had to depart sooner than we had planned.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129496 trend ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1
129495 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129494 meet the new person. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3673
129493 What Korean food would you like recommend and why? ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3100
129492 How would you describe a perfect weekend? ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 4566
129491 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 4283
129490 The biggest choice in my life! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3365
129489 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3489
129488 homework 07.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2662
129487 Day2 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129486 How important do you think food is when traveling? Do you think... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 4309
129485 What\'s your thought on this new business called the streaming... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2
129484 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 0
129483 HOMEWORK Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2764
129482 The city I want to live ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 3092
129481 What pet do you have at the home? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 4737
129480 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 3010
129479 2023.7.12 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 3745
129478 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 1
129477 What\'s your favorite day of the week and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 5143

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04