¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What made it a bad trip?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2023-07-18 2330

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago. The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yun Ju! 

I appreciate you sharing your story! Always check your food before consuming it. Make sure the food is stored securely and isn't contaminated. If it has a bad smell, there's a big chance that it's already spoiled. 

- Kristine ^^ 

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago.
>> Correct.
Or >> Five years ago, my family and I went camping in Bito Island.
The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. 
>> My family and I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and lovely weather on the island.
However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. 
>> However, we had a problem when we had seafood for dinner. 
We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. 
>> We had stomachaches because of the spoiled seafood we consumed.
Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.
>> My family eventually had to depart sooner than we had planned.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128674 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-06 502
128673 The importantance of greeting ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 820
128672 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 931
128671 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1044
128670 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 851
128669 homework 06.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 713
128668 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 781
128667 Homework 6/5 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128666 Should there be a restriction on the sales and production of... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128665 Homework 6/2 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128664 What I¡¯m most afraid of ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 645
128663 I don\'t help people. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 698
128662 What do you think of dating apps? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 5
128661 May I change my book ? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 734
128660 What fruit do you dislike the most and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1157
128659 Do you have a lot of friends? What do you do together? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128658 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128657 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 588
128656 What are the things that you don\'t like about dancing? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 571
128655 Congratulation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04