¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What made it a bad trip?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2023-07-18 2323

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago. The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yun Ju! 

I appreciate you sharing your story! Always check your food before consuming it. Make sure the food is stored securely and isn't contaminated. If it has a bad smell, there's a big chance that it's already spoiled. 

- Kristine ^^ 

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago.
>> Correct.
Or >> Five years ago, my family and I went camping in Bito Island.
The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. 
>> My family and I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and lovely weather on the island.
However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. 
>> However, we had a problem when we had seafood for dinner. 
We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. 
>> We had stomachaches because of the spoiled seafood we consumed.
Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.
>> My family eventually had to depart sooner than we had planned.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128814 Do the police do a good job in your country? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 4
128813 Gentleman ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1
128812 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 2
128811 6/13 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 761
128810 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 772
128809 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 694
128808 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 561
128807 alarm ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 632
128806 Instagram feed! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 902
128805 Do you like celebrating your birthday? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 578
128804 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1759
128803 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1240
128802 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 950
128801 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128800 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128799 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 2423
128798 homework 06.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 773
128797 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 497
128796 How many hours of sleep do you have every day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 504
128795 The most interesting outdoor activity for me ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 666

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04