¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Jake\'s wirting homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2023-07-18 2414

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with that, because if you want to enjoy something, you should practice hard for it. Also, there are lots of proverbs that relate to this. Ex: No pain No gain or Dream is not easy. Many famous people always say that they worked very hard to get to this position. So, we can know that if we want to achieve our goal, we should work really hard.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jake! This was a good start for your writing however, I'd like to inform you that IELTS Writing Task 2 requires 250 words!  Nevertheless, you should practice writing longer next time. Have a goodnight!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that, because if you want to enjoy something, you should practice hard for it.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I agree with the statement because if you want to enjoy something, you should practice hardly. 
 Also, there are lots of proverbs that relate to this. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Moreover, there are proverbs which are related to this. 
Ex: No pain No gain or Dreams are not easy.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Many famous people always say that they worked very hard to get to this position. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>> Many famous people always quote that they strived hard to get to their position. 
So, we can know that if we want to achieve our goal, we should work really hard.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>> So, we know that if we want to achieve our goal, we should work really hard.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126298 Hw ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 758
126297 How do you act when you are happy? Do you like being around... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 787
126296 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 720
126295 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: DIRECTION: Choose the most suitable adverb... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1
126294 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1
126293 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 0
126292 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 494
126291 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 542
126290 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 478
126289 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1
126288 3.6/3.7 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 726
126287 I prefer... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1
126286 Do you enjoy meeting new people? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 802
126285 How do you manage tasks and timelines with different levels of... ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1088
126284 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1035
126283 How to greet when today is my mom¡¯s birthday ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 1
126282 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 735
126281 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 770
126280 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 915
126279 3 things that makes me happy. ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04