¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-07-16 2716

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
It rained too much in Korea these days.
A lot of people died and were injured.
Is your country Ok?
As I said in my previous essay, I bought a console game "Nintendo Switch", and I played it with my three daughters yesterday.
We had a blast.
After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game "It takes two".
It has a strong story; there are dad, mom, and daughter. these parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get divorce and told their kid about it. that kid really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. And then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. Those parents are main actor, and we can control them. we have to complete all missions together. without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed any step.
I think this game is great for married couple.
As for my homework, if I can be a president, I will strenthen all penelties for all criminals.
It can make our world safer and happier for sure.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I heard about the devastating tragedy in your country, Dr. Kim. I feel sorry for the victims and their families. I hope they can recover and be safe now. Anyway, your game had a story, so it was more interesting.-Faith-
Hi.
>> Hi!
It rained too much in Korea these days.
>> It has rained too much in Korea these days.
A lot of people died and were injured.
>> CORRECT
Is your country Ok?
>> Is your country okay?
As I said in my previous essay, I bought a console game "Nintendo Switch", and I played it with my three daughters yesterday.
>> CORRECT
We had a blast.
>> CORRECT
After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game "It takes two".
>> After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game, "It takes two."
It has a strong story; there are dad, mom, and daughter. 
>> It has a strong story; there are a father, a mother, and a daughter. 
these parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get divorce and told their kid about it. 
>> The parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get a divorce and told their child about it. 
that kid really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. 
>> That child really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. 
And then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. 
>> Then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. 
Those parents are main actor, and we can control them. 
>> Those parents are the main actors, and we can control them. 
we have to complete all missions together. 
>> We have to complete all missions together.
without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed any step.
>> Without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed with any step.
I think this game is great for married couple.
>> CORRECT
As for my homework, if I can be a president, I will strenthen all penelties for all criminals.
>> As for my homework, if I could be the president, I would strengthen all penalties for all criminals.
It can make our world safer and happier for sure.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124734 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 527
124733 Do abusers show any potential warning signs? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 4
124732 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 2
124731 My method of welcoming someone warmly ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 563
124730 Do you prefer to shop alone or with other people? What are the... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 622
124729 Answer : Are people from the \"older\" generation always more... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 724
124728 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 1
124727 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 0
124726 Diary20230109 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 783
124725 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 4
124724 What is your favorite holiday tradition? and why? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 700
124723 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 1
124722 Homeless people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 1
124721 Five strange fruits ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 716
124720 1/9 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 745
124719 2023-01-09-Newsparer À±*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 0
124718 I prefer.... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 620
124717 4.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 1
124716 1/9 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 3
124715 How often do you read books? And what was the last book you read... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04