¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-07-16 2230

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
It rained too much in Korea these days.
A lot of people died and were injured.
Is your country Ok?
As I said in my previous essay, I bought a console game "Nintendo Switch", and I played it with my three daughters yesterday.
We had a blast.
After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game "It takes two".
It has a strong story; there are dad, mom, and daughter. these parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get divorce and told their kid about it. that kid really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. And then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. Those parents are main actor, and we can control them. we have to complete all missions together. without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed any step.
I think this game is great for married couple.
As for my homework, if I can be a president, I will strenthen all penelties for all criminals.
It can make our world safer and happier for sure.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I heard about the devastating tragedy in your country, Dr. Kim. I feel sorry for the victims and their families. I hope they can recover and be safe now. Anyway, your game had a story, so it was more interesting.-Faith-
Hi.
>> Hi!
It rained too much in Korea these days.
>> It has rained too much in Korea these days.
A lot of people died and were injured.
>> CORRECT
Is your country Ok?
>> Is your country okay?
As I said in my previous essay, I bought a console game "Nintendo Switch", and I played it with my three daughters yesterday.
>> CORRECT
We had a blast.
>> CORRECT
After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game "It takes two".
>> After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game, "It takes two."
It has a strong story; there are dad, mom, and daughter. 
>> It has a strong story; there are a father, a mother, and a daughter. 
these parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get divorce and told their kid about it. 
>> The parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get a divorce and told their child about it. 
that kid really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. 
>> That child really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. 
And then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. 
>> Then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. 
Those parents are main actor, and we can control them. 
>> Those parents are the main actors, and we can control them. 
we have to complete all missions together. 
>> We have to complete all missions together.
without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed any step.
>> Without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed with any step.
I think this game is great for married couple.
>> CORRECT
As for my homework, if I can be a president, I will strenthen all penelties for all criminals.
>> As for my homework, if I could be the president, I would strengthen all penalties for all criminals.
It can make our world safer and happier for sure.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131115 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1469
131114 Can you describe what slime feels like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1747
131113 What is the scariest animal for you and why ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131112 \"What can you do to attend a K-pop concert someday? and why?\" ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131111 What is the worst disaster that you have experienced? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131110 Would you rather go your homework or do chors? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1346
131109 jump rope teaher is late ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1121
131108 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1002
131107 How do people typically prepare for the weekend on Fridays? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 0
131106 WRITING TASK: How would you deal with someone who asks for help... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 3
131105 How do you show your appreciation to people you are thankful for? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131104 What is an earthquake and how does it devastate a country both... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131103 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1322
131102 HOMEWORK 3 ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1498
131101 What other measures could be implemented to improve emergency... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131100 9/15 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2289
131099 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1182
131098 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1636
131097 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1125
131096 Trust needs time °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04