¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-07-16 2503

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
It rained too much in Korea these days.
A lot of people died and were injured.
Is your country Ok?
As I said in my previous essay, I bought a console game "Nintendo Switch", and I played it with my three daughters yesterday.
We had a blast.
After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game "It takes two".
It has a strong story; there are dad, mom, and daughter. these parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get divorce and told their kid about it. that kid really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. And then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. Those parents are main actor, and we can control them. we have to complete all missions together. without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed any step.
I think this game is great for married couple.
As for my homework, if I can be a president, I will strenthen all penelties for all criminals.
It can make our world safer and happier for sure.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I heard about the devastating tragedy in your country, Dr. Kim. I feel sorry for the victims and their families. I hope they can recover and be safe now. Anyway, your game had a story, so it was more interesting.-Faith-
Hi.
>> Hi!
It rained too much in Korea these days.
>> It has rained too much in Korea these days.
A lot of people died and were injured.
>> CORRECT
Is your country Ok?
>> Is your country okay?
As I said in my previous essay, I bought a console game "Nintendo Switch", and I played it with my three daughters yesterday.
>> CORRECT
We had a blast.
>> CORRECT
After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game "It takes two".
>> After my daughters fell asleep, my wife and I played the game, "It takes two."
It has a strong story; there are dad, mom, and daughter. 
>> It has a strong story; there are a father, a mother, and a daughter. 
these parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get divorce and told their kid about it. 
>> The parents didn't get along with each other, so they decided to get a divorce and told their child about it. 
that kid really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. 
>> That child really wanted her parents to recover their relationship, so she prayed for it. 
And then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. 
>> Then some kind of magic happened, and the parents changed into small dolls. 
Those parents are main actor, and we can control them. 
>> Those parents are the main actors, and we can control them. 
we have to complete all missions together. 
>> We have to complete all missions together.
without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed any step.
>> Without mutual cooperation, we can't proceed with any step.
I think this game is great for married couple.
>> CORRECT
As for my homework, if I can be a president, I will strenthen all penelties for all criminals.
>> As for my homework, if I could be the president, I would strengthen all penalties for all criminals.
It can make our world safer and happier for sure.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134040 Do you like making new friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1317
134039 Can you easily influence someone? Why or why not? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 7
134038 The best thing. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1495
134037 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 0
134036 My meal mate ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1092
134035 Is body language kind of confusing for you? Why or Why not? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 9
134034 What rude behaviour do you see in public every day? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1166
134033 What have you lost while traveling? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 839
134032 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1299
134031 What¡¯s new with you? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1
134030 What kind of person would be the perfect neighbor? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 3
134029 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1
134028 essay 7 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 703
134027 An incident that changed my life/belief. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1250
134026 18.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1
134025 What has surprised you in a new place? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 3
134024 If you were going to recommend a trip to someone, would it be... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 3
134023 Do you prefer talking with others face to face or on the phone? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 5
134022 Tell me about the best message you\'ve ever received. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 4
134021 In your opinion, which source is more important and beneficial,... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04