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What quality do you admire most in people and which one do you find the most objectionable?

작성자: 안*쌀
2023-07-14 1810

회원님의 영작문

First and foremost, there are several qualities I respect in people. One of the admirable qualities is being honest. I believe that treating oneself and other people honestly is a start to building a good relationship between one and one ego and between one and the other. As people show themselves honestly to others, they can accumulate "trust" in the relationship, although they must go through disagreements, conflicts, and patience. Thus, I really appreciate someone who can express their emotions and thoughts transparently. In this regard, I am reluctant to stay with someone who judges and treats others just through his or her perspective. I recognize that no one can understand others exactly, but only asserting his or her thoughts without trying to put himself in another's shoes is an objectionable attitude for me.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

You have composed your answer in a careful manner, Shine! Also, the use of uncommon expressions here is noticeable, so good job!-Faith-
First and foremost, there are several qualities I respect in people. 
>> CORRECT
One of the admirable qualities is being honest. 
>> One of the admirable qualities of a person is being honest. 
I believe that treating oneself and other people honestly is a start to building a good relationship between one and one ego and between one and the other. 
>> I believe that treating oneself and other people honestly is a start to build a good relationship between one and another ego and between one and the other. 
As people show themselves honestly to others, they can accumulate "trust" in the relationship, although they must go through disagreements, conflicts, and patience. 
>> As people show themselves honestly to others, they can accumulate "trust" in a relationship, although they must go through disagreements, conflicts, and impatience. 
Thus, I really appreciate someone who can express their emotions and thoughts transparently. 
>> CORRECT
OR Hence, I really appreciate someone who share their emotions and views vocally.
In this regard, I am reluctant to stay with someone who judges and treats others just through his or her perspective.
>> CORRECT
I recognize that no one can understand others exactly, but only asserting his or her thoughts without trying to put himself in another's shoes is an objectionable attitude for me.
>> CORRECT
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