¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can daily life support services positively impact the well-being of those in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-07-13 3211

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I thought those services is free of charge but people who need help have to pay annualy. Although, it is not big amount, it would be burden for them because they might not be available to have a job due to their financial problem, health condition and family matters. The new measure to expand care services to include young people and middle aged people will be helpful a lot. However, if the government provide free service, it would be much better. The buget is maybe the first thing which public servernts consider and they might encounter various difficulties because each people has different problem, so it is almost imposible to help people with same standard. It can also be contraversial due to the people who are not eligible to get those services. It always makes conflicts between people who get services or not. Politicians have to create cut-off line even though, it create conflicts or complains from their citizens. Korean has became an advanced country recently but our well fare sy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Hwang. :)

I thought those services is free of charge but people who need help have to pay annualy. 
>>> I thought those services are free of charge but people who need help have to pay annually. 
Although, it is not big amount, it would be burden for them because they might not be available to have a job due to their financial problem, health condition and family matters. 
>>> Although it is not a big amount, it would be a burden for them because they might not be able to have a job due to their financial problem, health condition and family matters. 
The new measure to expand care services to include young people and middle aged people will be helpful a lot. 
>>> correct
However, if the government provides free service, it would be much better. 
>>> correct
The buget is maybe the first thing which public servernts consider and they might encounter various difficulties because each people has different problem, so it is almost imposible to help people with same standard. 
>>> The budget is maybe the first thing which public servants consider and they might encounter various difficulties because each person has a different problem, so it is almost impossible to help people with the same standard. 
It can also be controversial due to the people who are not eligible to get those services. 
>>> correct
It always makes conflicts between people who get services or not. 
>>> correct
Politicians have to create cut-off line even though, it create conflicts or complains from their citizens. 
>>> Even though politicians have to create a cut-off line, it creates conflicts or complains from their citizens. 
Korean has became an advanced country recently but our well fare system...
>>> (it seems the sentences is incomplete)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128060 4.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 1
128059 What did you do last year on your birthday? Write as many detaib... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 2
128058 3.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 2
128057 Pros and cons about public transportation ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 0
128056 It depend on an age. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 2
128055 What do you think makes Korean pop music different form other... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 759
128054 How will your personal responsibilities affect your job? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 1
128053 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 625
128052 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 558
128051 My favorite video to watch on youtube ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 630
128050 Do you worry about the health of those around you? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 1
128049 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 0
128048 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 0
128047 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 1
128046 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 1
128045 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-07 677
128044 What is the most positive change you have experienced in your... Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-06 691
128043 What is the most positive change you have experienced in your... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-06 671
128042 Hello~ ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 4
128041 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 621

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04