¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can daily life support services positively impact the well-being of those in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-07-13 3090

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I thought those services is free of charge but people who need help have to pay annualy. Although, it is not big amount, it would be burden for them because they might not be available to have a job due to their financial problem, health condition and family matters. The new measure to expand care services to include young people and middle aged people will be helpful a lot. However, if the government provide free service, it would be much better. The buget is maybe the first thing which public servernts consider and they might encounter various difficulties because each people has different problem, so it is almost imposible to help people with same standard. It can also be contraversial due to the people who are not eligible to get those services. It always makes conflicts between people who get services or not. Politicians have to create cut-off line even though, it create conflicts or complains from their citizens. Korean has became an advanced country recently but our well fare sy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Sir Hwang. :)

I thought those services is free of charge but people who need help have to pay annualy. 
>>> I thought those services are free of charge but people who need help have to pay annually. 
Although, it is not big amount, it would be burden for them because they might not be available to have a job due to their financial problem, health condition and family matters. 
>>> Although it is not a big amount, it would be a burden for them because they might not be able to have a job due to their financial problem, health condition and family matters. 
The new measure to expand care services to include young people and middle aged people will be helpful a lot. 
>>> correct
However, if the government provides free service, it would be much better. 
>>> correct
The buget is maybe the first thing which public servernts consider and they might encounter various difficulties because each people has different problem, so it is almost imposible to help people with same standard. 
>>> The budget is maybe the first thing which public servants consider and they might encounter various difficulties because each person has a different problem, so it is almost impossible to help people with the same standard. 
It can also be controversial due to the people who are not eligible to get those services. 
>>> correct
It always makes conflicts between people who get services or not. 
>>> correct
Politicians have to create cut-off line even though, it create conflicts or complains from their citizens. 
>>> Even though politicians have to create a cut-off line, it creates conflicts or complains from their citizens. 
Korean has became an advanced country recently but our well fare system...
>>> (it seems the sentences is incomplete)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130975 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 794
130974 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 677
130973 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 0
130972 HOMEWORK-230912 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1
130971 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1677
130970 Essay Homework È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1
130969 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 0
130968 Three sentences using ¡®squeeze something in¡¯ ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1279
130967 WRITING TASK: What is the first thing you do when you travel... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 2
130966 When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1519
130965 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 4
130964 Can you describe a recent experience that taught you something... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1146
130963 Why do some people panic in a situation when other people remain... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1335
130962 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1029
130961 Hi Teacher~! ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1
130960 Do you think it is important to be open-minded when helping other ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1603
130959 Until now, I haven\'t been interested in economic activities... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-12 1
130958 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-11 1058
130957 What is the best way to spend the weekend for you? ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-09-11 1502
130956 Homework 2 ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-11 960

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04