¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most beautiful place in my city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸²
2023-07-10 2050

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my home. I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays lots of places in Korea has bad air because of the transportation and air pollution. However, the mountain behind my home has lots of trees and also a stream so the air is really clean and it smells like the rural area. Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a kind of a roe deer lives there. Yesterday when I was sleeping, I heard some sound that sounds like the woman screaming. I was really surprised but my mom told me that it¡¯s a deer. Other day when I was coming home by rivers I saw a deer drinking water at there. It was really surprising but that was a quite great experience that I see the deer near my home not at the zoo. Also, I had atopy since I was little, but after I moved here it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Hi, Emily! Thank you so much for answering your homework :)
I really appreciate it!
Keep it up :)


-Teacher Nikki ^^ 


The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my home. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my house. 
I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays lots of places in Korea has bad air because of the transportation and air pollution. 
>> I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays there are lots of places in Korea that have bad air because of transportation and air pollution. 
However, the mountain behind my home has lots of trees and also a stream so the air is really clean and it smells like the rural area.
>> CORRECT!
Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a kind of a roe deer lives there. 
>> Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I can wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a roe deer lives there. 
Yesterday when I was sleeping, I heard some sound that sounds like the woman screaming.
>> Yesterday, when I was sleeping, I heard a sound that sounds like a woman screaming.
I was really surprised but my mom told me that it¡¯s a deer. 
>> I was really surprised but my mom told me that it was a deer.
Other day when I was coming home by rivers I saw a deer drinking water at there.
>> The other day, when I was on my way home, I saw a deer drinking some water by the rivers.
It was really surprising but that was a quite great experience that I see the deer near my home not at the zoo.
>> It was really surprising and it was quite a great experience that I saw a deer near my place and not at the zoo.
Also, I had atopy since I was little, but after I moved here it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.
>> Lastly, I had some allergies since I was little, but after I moved here, it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125559 rule ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 3
125558 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 4
125557 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 630
125556 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 2
125555 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 3
125554 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 3
125553 1. What activities do you enjoy doing at the park? 2.What... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 2
125552 I\'ll talk to the police. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 3
125551 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 596
125550 The story of a young merchant ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1
125549 homework 02.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-11 851
125548 How do you want art to be defined? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-11 1629
125547 Have you ever had problems making a reservation? How was it... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-11 2
125546 What was the best thing to happen to you last year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-11 857
125545 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-11 621
125544 i want to study english because À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-11 801
125543 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 1
125542 Corner phobia¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 685
125541 In your opinion, why do some people feel afraid to ask questions? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 642
125540 Making Homemade Birdfruit!!! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-10 614

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04