¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most beautiful place in my city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸²
2023-07-10 1933

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my home. I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays lots of places in Korea has bad air because of the transportation and air pollution. However, the mountain behind my home has lots of trees and also a stream so the air is really clean and it smells like the rural area. Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a kind of a roe deer lives there. Yesterday when I was sleeping, I heard some sound that sounds like the woman screaming. I was really surprised but my mom told me that it¡¯s a deer. Other day when I was coming home by rivers I saw a deer drinking water at there. It was really surprising but that was a quite great experience that I see the deer near my home not at the zoo. Also, I had atopy since I was little, but after I moved here it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Hi, Emily! Thank you so much for answering your homework :)
I really appreciate it!
Keep it up :)


-Teacher Nikki ^^ 


The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my home. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my house. 
I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays lots of places in Korea has bad air because of the transportation and air pollution. 
>> I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays there are lots of places in Korea that have bad air because of transportation and air pollution. 
However, the mountain behind my home has lots of trees and also a stream so the air is really clean and it smells like the rural area.
>> CORRECT!
Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a kind of a roe deer lives there. 
>> Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I can wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a roe deer lives there. 
Yesterday when I was sleeping, I heard some sound that sounds like the woman screaming.
>> Yesterday, when I was sleeping, I heard a sound that sounds like a woman screaming.
I was really surprised but my mom told me that it¡¯s a deer. 
>> I was really surprised but my mom told me that it was a deer.
Other day when I was coming home by rivers I saw a deer drinking water at there.
>> The other day, when I was on my way home, I saw a deer drinking some water by the rivers.
It was really surprising but that was a quite great experience that I see the deer near my home not at the zoo.
>> It was really surprising and it was quite a great experience that I saw a deer near my place and not at the zoo.
Also, I had atopy since I was little, but after I moved here it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.
>> Lastly, I had some allergies since I was little, but after I moved here, it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126928 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 1093
126927 3.27 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 651
126926 3.27 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 691
126925 3/22 ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 0
126924 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 1
126923 3/27 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 492
126922 hoesik ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 453
126921 The embarrassing moment ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 2
126920 Golf ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 3
126919 1. South Korea 2. country ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 0
126918 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 862
126917 Thomas Carlyle ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 1582
126916 3/22 Assignment ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 691
126915 3/24 assignment ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 808
126914 Where I¡¯d like to live ? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 1
126913 HOMEWORK FOR 03/24 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 465
126912 Do you ever think taking naps can waste valuable time spent... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 595
126911 How does the article make you feel about AI? ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 573
126910 Do you think air pollution will be a bigger issue ten years from... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 494
126909 Do you think we should continue these rocket launches at the... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 651

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04