무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the best age to have a baby? Why?

작성자: 엄*주
2023-07-10 2033

회원님의 영작문

I believe that the best age to have a baby is 30years olds. Despite appropriate age for having a baby is differ from case by case, I believe 30 years old is the best age for both of physical and financial aspect.
Firstly, 30 years old is existed between too much and too young for having a baby. Obviously, these days people are starting to have a sufficient prepare time for having a baby. However, it is not good for babies and mothers to have a baby when woman is getting old. More age that people have a baby, more risk will be increased. In doing so, 30 years old is not too late age to have a baby.

Moreover, most of 30 age years old people can make a enough preparation to have a baby. This is because people have had effort on getting a job when they are 20s. As a result, most of 30s people would more afford to raise a baby than they were 20s.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey Yun Jun!

In my opinion, There's no perfect age to have kids. Yes, scientific data is clear. The “right” age to have a child according to your biological clock is under 35 for women and under 40 for men. However, I do believe it's a matter of person's choice. ^^ 

- Kristine ^^ 

I believe that the best age to have a baby is 30years olds. 
>> I believe that 30 years old is the ideal age to have a child. 
Despite appropriate age for having a baby is differ from case by case, 
>> Although the best age to have a child varies depending on each person.
I believe 30 years old is the best age for both of physical and financial aspect.
>> Correct. 
Firstly, 30 years old is existed between too much and too young for having a baby. 
>> Firstly, 30 years old is somewhere between being too old or too young to have a child. 
Obviously, these days people are starting to have a sufficient prepare time for having a baby. 
>> It's obvious that people need time to prepare before having a baby.
However, it is not good for babies and mothers to have a baby when woman is getting old. 
>> However, having a baby as a woman ages is bad for both the baby and the mother. 
More age that people have a baby, more risk will be increased. 
>> The risk increases as individuals become older and have children. 
In doing so, 30 years old is not too late age to have a baby.
>> In this case, 30 is not too old to have a child.
Moreover, most of 30 age years old people can make a enough preparation to have a baby. 
>> Additionally, most adults over the age of 30 can prepare themselves well for childbirth. 
This is because people have had effort on getting a job when they are 20s. 
>> This has happened because people have worked hard to find jobs in their 20s. 
As a result, most of 30s people would more afford to raise a baby than they were 20s.
>> Therefore, most people in their 30s could afford to raise a child compared to their 20s.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
129272 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-07-04 2136
129271 Home work 김*란 완료 2023-07-04 1
129270 Home work 김* 완료 2023-07-04 3
129269 HOMRWORK 에*미 완료 2023-07-04 0
129268 How do you deal with boredom? 앨* 완료 2023-07-04 1
129267 Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? 신*섭 완료 2023-07-04 2592
129266 Homework 송*준 완료 2023-07-04 1837
129265 HOMEWORK FOR 5/5 조*아 완료 2023-07-04 1
129264 HOMEWORK FOR 5/3 조*아 완료 2023-07-04 2
129263 HOMEWORK FOR 5/1 조*아 완료 2023-07-04 2
129262 How can friends have a bad influence on you? 권*진 완료 2023-07-04 0
129261 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-07-04 2485
129260 7/4 homework 최*봄 완료 2023-07-04 3897
129259 WRITING TASK: If you could go to Hong Kong today, what would you... 임*지 완료 2023-07-04 2
129258 victims 권*희 완료 2023-07-04 1965
129257 homework essay(2023. 7. 4.) 서*은 완료 2023-07-04 1
129256 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-07-04 2229
129255 handle my feeling 최*환 완료 2023-07-04 1364
129254 hanging out with friends 최*환 완료 2023-07-04 1992
129253 WRITING TASK: What is the most difficult part of learning... 안*쌀 완료 2023-07-04 2006

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]