¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that students should have a ticket discount in buying concert tickets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*°æ
2023-07-06 2978

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there again, Jo! It is great to see you here on the composition page.

First of all, I can say that you have a very good background in writing. It is evident in the way you put simple and other complex sentences altogether. The suggestions I made are very simple ones to remind you of some grammar patterns. Hence, kindly read them carefully below.

Meanwhile, I agree that a student discount is unnecessary since a concert is a form of entertainment and it is not a need or primary commodity. Food, shelter, and education are out basic needs that we can get discounts from. Students then have to rely on their parents money in this regard.

Thank you for the time that you wrote and answered the homework. I really appreciate it. See you on your next answer!

-T. Donna~

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. 
>> I think there's no need for a student discount for concerts

Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
>>  Usually (something like/ having) a student discount is essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums./ Very good sentence!

Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.
>> Correct!
Or: K-pop concerts are none of these, so I don't think that student's discount for concerts is a good idea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126526 Waiting is good for people¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 612
126525 What animals are you afraid of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126524 Why is dental care important? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 2
126523 Iarge group or small group ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 748
126522 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 5
126521 What skill are you cultivating? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126520 How do you prefer to be paid, in cash or have money transferred... °û*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 950
126519 Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? °û*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 947
126518 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 658
126517 What are the advantages and disadvantages of setting up an... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 956
126516 Many people think that we learn from the past, but there are... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 688
126515 Do you prefer to finish things early or wait until the deadline... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 2
126514 My favorite food Áö*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 829
126513 How do you incorporate nature into your everyday life? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 751
126512 homework 03.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 639
126511 How do you feel after a long vacation? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 881
126510 How do you urge a friend to do something she/he doesn\'t want to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 2
126509 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 5
126508 Monday ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 1439
126507 Are you a good driver? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 1255

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04