¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that students should have a ticket discount in buying concert tickets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*°æ
2023-07-06 1979

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there again, Jo! It is great to see you here on the composition page.

First of all, I can say that you have a very good background in writing. It is evident in the way you put simple and other complex sentences altogether. The suggestions I made are very simple ones to remind you of some grammar patterns. Hence, kindly read them carefully below.

Meanwhile, I agree that a student discount is unnecessary since a concert is a form of entertainment and it is not a need or primary commodity. Food, shelter, and education are out basic needs that we can get discounts from. Students then have to rely on their parents money in this regard.

Thank you for the time that you wrote and answered the homework. I really appreciate it. See you on your next answer!

-T. Donna~

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. 
>> I think there's no need for a student discount for concerts

Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
>>  Usually (something like/ having) a student discount is essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums./ Very good sentence!

Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.
>> Correct!
Or: K-pop concerts are none of these, so I don't think that student's discount for concerts is a good idea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132169 The best time for me to spend time ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1982
132168 Which cartoon character would you be and why?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1275
132167 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 0
132166 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 0
132165 What is your favorite public transportation? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132164 A beautiful mountain in my country. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1051
132163 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1059
132162 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1358
132161 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 710
132160 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1500
132159 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1247
132158 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1536
132157 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®Disney¡¯? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1111
132156 Doing my homework is very interesting. Á¤*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1942
132155 digital ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1022
132154 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2
132153 What are the reasons why people start smoking? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132152 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132151 2.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132150 What would happen if all of the world¡¯s computers suddenly... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04