¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life? Please explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*½Ò
2023-07-04 2424

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, it does. My hobby influences my work and personal life. For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. This experience made me understand what teamwork is. We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your effort to answer the question genuinely, Shine. May you continue to develop productive hobbies.
-Faith-
Yes, it does. 
>> CORRECT
My hobby influences my work and personal life. 
>> CORRECT
For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. 
>> For example, I am a music band member at my church, so I play the electronic keyboard and organize coffee chats for harmony among my band members. 
This experience made me understand what teamwork is. 
>> CORRECT
We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. 
>> We, all members, are different regarding artistic temperaments and characteristics. 
In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. 
>> CORRECT
These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. 
>> These processes helped us make one team by knowing each other deeply. 
Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. 
>> Thus, at my work, I am also in charge and play as a bridge among the team members or between the team members and our boss. 
I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. 
>> CORRECT
Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. 
>> CORRECT
Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.
>> CORRECT
OR Hence, my hobby intervenes with my life immensely.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130252 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1913
130251 Would you get married to a North Koren defector? Why or why not? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 3
130250 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 2203
130249 Do you want to become famous? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1696
130248 What is your favorite part of about school? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1367
130247 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 2673
130246 What kind of person do you want to avoid? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1
130245 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 0
130244 Do you think the world would be any different if we all speak... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1845
130243 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1113
130242 Tattoos È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 2118
130241 home work °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1140
130240 What other things companies can do to take good care of their... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1232
130239 What should a person do when he/she if having some trouble... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1972
130238 How does one¡¯s family life affect his relations with others? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1
130237 The things foreigners shouldn¡¯t do in Korea ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1843
130236 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1724
130235 My favorite snack ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1586
130234 What is the most difficult thing about handling international... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 7
130233 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: Do you want a big family or a small... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04