¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life? Please explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*½Ò
2023-07-04 2517

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, it does. My hobby influences my work and personal life. For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. This experience made me understand what teamwork is. We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your effort to answer the question genuinely, Shine. May you continue to develop productive hobbies.
-Faith-
Yes, it does. 
>> CORRECT
My hobby influences my work and personal life. 
>> CORRECT
For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. 
>> For example, I am a music band member at my church, so I play the electronic keyboard and organize coffee chats for harmony among my band members. 
This experience made me understand what teamwork is. 
>> CORRECT
We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. 
>> We, all members, are different regarding artistic temperaments and characteristics. 
In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. 
>> CORRECT
These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. 
>> These processes helped us make one team by knowing each other deeply. 
Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. 
>> Thus, at my work, I am also in charge and play as a bridge among the team members or between the team members and our boss. 
I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. 
>> CORRECT
Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. 
>> CORRECT
Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.
>> CORRECT
OR Hence, my hobby intervenes with my life immensely.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131036 What level of English would satisfy you? What learning goals do... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1
131035 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1716
131034 Korean public transportation ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1827
131033 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1062
131032 How is technology shaping you? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1
131031 WRITING TASK: How do you keep yourself healthy? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2
131030 Are you always careful about what documents you throw away? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131029 home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131028 Answer for baking ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1426
131027 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 7
131026 homework 09.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 1706
131025 In Western countries, many people prefer to work at places, such... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 3
131024 Why we celebrate the holidays ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 1522
131023 Which country or place would you like to visit? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 1228
131022 Who in your family is the funny one? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 1191
131021 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 2
131020 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 1203
131019 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 1227
131018 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 2038
131017 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"The... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04