¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-04 2079

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of using social media platforms?

Through to the social media platforms, I see news from my region to all over the world,
it's can check it on smartphone, computer.
I was once addicted to social media, I looked only my smartphone all day.
But, social media platforms has a lot of problems.
Often unusual people, to increase of followers on their social media.
they are upload videos like a dangerous behavior or nuisance behavior.
The next, there are so many people using anonymity on the internet, they are write mean comment(bad comments).
That's why so many people feeling suffer.
lastly, celebrities'privicy activities are also dangerous.
One anecdote, the girlfriend of a musician uploaded his location on Instagram.
And than later, he was suddenly attacked by robbery.
That's why there many people's leave the social media.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of using social media platforms?


Through to the social media platforms, I see news from my region to all over the world,
it's can check it on smartphone, computer.
>> Through to the social media platforms, I see news from my region to all over the world, and you can check it on your smartphone, or even in your computer.
I was once addicted to social media, I looked only my smartphone all day.
>> I was once addicted to social media, I only looked at my smartphone all day.
But, social media platforms has a lot of problems.
>> But, social media platforms have a lot of problems.
Often unusual people, to increase of followers on their social media.
>> It is usually to increase followers on their social media.
they are upload videos like a dangerous behavior or nuisance behavior.
>> They upload videos like dangerous acts or a nuisance.
The next, there are so many people using anonymity on the internet, they are write mean comment(bad comments).
>> On the other hand, there are so many people using anonymity on the internet, they write mean comments (bad comments) against other people.
That's why so many people feeling suffer.
>> That's why so many people suffer from it.
lastly, celebrities'privicy activities are also dangerous.
>> Lastly, celebrities' privacy could also be affected, leaving them in danger.
One anecdote, the girlfriend of a musician uploaded his location on Instagram.
>> CORRECT!
And than later, he was suddenly attacked by robbery.
>> And then later, he was suddenly attacked by robbers.
OR >> Later on, a robbery happened in his place.
That's why there many people's leave the social media.
>> That's why there are many people leaving the social media world.
OR >> That's the reason why there are many people who take a social media break.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128008 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 558
128007 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 672
128006 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 559
128005 Who could help you most when you encounter problems... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 599
128004 What should you keep in mind when studying English? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 609
128003 How has dropping a line become easy with technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 633
128002 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1
128001 In the bank ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 2
128000 Do you think we should still invest in rocket launches,... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 606
127999 workplace ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 709
127998 May ±Ç*ÀÏ ÁøÇàÁß 2023-05-04 0
127997 Most important goal of Education ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 600
127996 Where did you spend your last vacation? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 2
127995 Can social media harm people? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 2
127994 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 504
127993 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127992 What are popular small businesses in your country? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 583
127991 What do think is the biggest change in how families are in your... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1
127990 Homework for 05/03 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 2
127989 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04