¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-04 2359

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of using social media platforms?

Through to the social media platforms, I see news from my region to all over the world,
it's can check it on smartphone, computer.
I was once addicted to social media, I looked only my smartphone all day.
But, social media platforms has a lot of problems.
Often unusual people, to increase of followers on their social media.
they are upload videos like a dangerous behavior or nuisance behavior.
The next, there are so many people using anonymity on the internet, they are write mean comment(bad comments).
That's why so many people feeling suffer.
lastly, celebrities'privicy activities are also dangerous.
One anecdote, the girlfriend of a musician uploaded his location on Instagram.
And than later, he was suddenly attacked by robbery.
That's why there many people's leave the social media.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the dangers of using social media platforms?


Through to the social media platforms, I see news from my region to all over the world,
it's can check it on smartphone, computer.
>> Through to the social media platforms, I see news from my region to all over the world, and you can check it on your smartphone, or even in your computer.
I was once addicted to social media, I looked only my smartphone all day.
>> I was once addicted to social media, I only looked at my smartphone all day.
But, social media platforms has a lot of problems.
>> But, social media platforms have a lot of problems.
Often unusual people, to increase of followers on their social media.
>> It is usually to increase followers on their social media.
they are upload videos like a dangerous behavior or nuisance behavior.
>> They upload videos like dangerous acts or a nuisance.
The next, there are so many people using anonymity on the internet, they are write mean comment(bad comments).
>> On the other hand, there are so many people using anonymity on the internet, they write mean comments (bad comments) against other people.
That's why so many people feeling suffer.
>> That's why so many people suffer from it.
lastly, celebrities'privicy activities are also dangerous.
>> Lastly, celebrities' privacy could also be affected, leaving them in danger.
One anecdote, the girlfriend of a musician uploaded his location on Instagram.
>> CORRECT!
And than later, he was suddenly attacked by robbery.
>> And then later, he was suddenly attacked by robbers.
OR >> Later on, a robbery happened in his place.
That's why there many people's leave the social media.
>> That's why there are many people leaving the social media world.
OR >> That's the reason why there are many people who take a social media break.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133841 Do you think art is necessary in our life? Why? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1240
133840 If you are in a non-English foreign country (Thailand/ Vietnam),... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1576
133839 Is there something you regret buying? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 2105
133838 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1
133837 DIRECTIONS: Please fill in the blanks with right tag questions. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 2
133836 Free writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1666
133835 Free writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1139
133834 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1245
133833 Where do you prefer to live, downtown or suburb? Why? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 4
133832 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1448
133831 Is it better to play sport competitively or just for fun? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 910
133830 Disadvantages of getting tours ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 833
133829 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 0
133828 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 0
133827 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 58
133826 What is your stance on standardized tests? Do you think they... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 3
133825 How can we have a good night¡¯s sleep? What do you do? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1065
133824 homework 01.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 795
133823 What was the hardest part of the past week for you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1265
133822 About Chat GPT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04