¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-03 2487

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?

There are many kinds of hoarding.
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
Besides, we can't win to them. They are using a computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?


There are many kinds of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
>> There are different kinds of hoarding, like hoarding of limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season, there was also hoarding of masks and cold medicines.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
>> A few days ago, there was 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
>> CORRECT!
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
>> First of all, if I want to buy items, I feel worried about the item's price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
>> That's the reason why hoarders buy items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
>> And then later, items become sold out; the hoarders sell items higher more than the normal price.
Besides, we can't win to them. 
>>  Besides, we can't win against them. 
They are using a computer programs.
>> They are using computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
>> So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding to prevent people from hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
>> But, I don't know the effect of the changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy
>> Still, I can find hoarders easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127260 today\'s homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 3
127259 I think it\'s better to have technology À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 623
127258 ¡°Dream¡± shoes!!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 730
127257 home work ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 577
127256 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 502
127255 I believe in ads, or not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 616
127254 Homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 0
127253 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 678
127252 When you visit a new city, which places do you go to first? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 582
127251 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 707
127250 What\'s the best thing to do to stay healthy? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 626
127249 What are the advantages and disadvantages of going to the gym? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 1
127248 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 872
127247 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 658
127246 What are you up to your neck in these days? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 796
127245 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 0
127244 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 1
127243 What age would you like to live? Why? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 3
127242 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 563
127241 Be the change ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04