¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-03 2796

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?

There are many kinds of hoarding.
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
Besides, we can't win to them. They are using a computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?


There are many kinds of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
>> There are different kinds of hoarding, like hoarding of limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season, there was also hoarding of masks and cold medicines.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
>> A few days ago, there was 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
>> CORRECT!
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
>> First of all, if I want to buy items, I feel worried about the item's price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
>> That's the reason why hoarders buy items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
>> And then later, items become sold out; the hoarders sell items higher more than the normal price.
Besides, we can't win to them. 
>>  Besides, we can't win against them. 
They are using a computer programs.
>> They are using computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
>> So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding to prevent people from hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
>> But, I don't know the effect of the changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy
>> Still, I can find hoarders easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135126 homework 02.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1679
135125 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1422
135124 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 0
135123 What is the moon like? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 2046
135122 Do you know about history of computer? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1625
135121 The significance of an RSVP? ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1376
135120 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1516
135119 What do you think of space traveling? Are you up for it? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1696
135118 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1393
135117 What do you like best about computer games? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 2589
135116 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1354
135115 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1
135114 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 871
135113 How often do you call your family and your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1496
135112 Talk about a mentor or role model who has had a significant... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1273
135111 What do you do to de-stress after a demanding day at work? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1670
135110 ... understand the problem to ... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 2183
135109 What are your strengths aside from being a people-person? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1149
135108 Compare and contrast the experiences of studying abroad versus... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1200
135107 What advice would you give your past self? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1153

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04