¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-03 3008

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?

There are many kinds of hoarding.
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
Besides, we can't win to them. They are using a computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?


There are many kinds of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
>> There are different kinds of hoarding, like hoarding of limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season, there was also hoarding of masks and cold medicines.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
>> A few days ago, there was 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
>> CORRECT!
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
>> First of all, if I want to buy items, I feel worried about the item's price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
>> That's the reason why hoarders buy items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
>> And then later, items become sold out; the hoarders sell items higher more than the normal price.
Besides, we can't win to them. 
>>  Besides, we can't win against them. 
They are using a computer programs.
>> They are using computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
>> So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding to prevent people from hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
>> But, I don't know the effect of the changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy
>> Still, I can find hoarders easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137107 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 0
137106 What do you think of children doing household chores? Should... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 1432
137105 What do you think is the most popular toy for children nowadays? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 1947
137104 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-11 1
137103 My favorite fairy tale ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-11 1804
137102 Electronic ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-11 1220
137101 homework 05.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1770
137100 What can you say about the statement \"It\'s better to give than... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1261
137099 My expectations from this class ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 2
137098 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1206
137097 Optimism and pessimism ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1783
137096 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1006
137095 Do you love yourself? Is it important to love yourself? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1908
137094 Among those countries you\'ve visited, what custom or tradition... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137093 Describe yourself as a learner ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 2
137092 2024.05.10 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137091 Aside from your work, what are the things that will make you... ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1758
137090 my thought about historical movies ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1417
137089 2024.05.09 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1769
137088 When someone invites you to a birthday, do you go there one time? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1948

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04