¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-03 3086

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?

There are many kinds of hoarding.
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
Besides, we can't win to them. They are using a computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?


There are many kinds of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
>> There are different kinds of hoarding, like hoarding of limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season, there was also hoarding of masks and cold medicines.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
>> A few days ago, there was 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
>> CORRECT!
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
>> First of all, if I want to buy items, I feel worried about the item's price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
>> That's the reason why hoarders buy items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
>> And then later, items become sold out; the hoarders sell items higher more than the normal price.
Besides, we can't win to them. 
>>  Besides, we can't win against them. 
They are using a computer programs.
>> They are using computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
>> So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding to prevent people from hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
>> But, I don't know the effect of the changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy
>> Still, I can find hoarders easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138637 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1
138636 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1493
138635 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 0
138634 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1497
138633 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1247
138632 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1041
138631 Are you an organized person? Explain your answer. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1169
138630 Tell me about the movie you have seen recently.- simi ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 1428
138629 What does ¡°No man is an island¡± imply? - simi ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 968
138628 When you visit new places, what do you like to do? - simi ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 1181
138627 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 959
138626 2024.07.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 1456
138625 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 1072
138624 What was your first day at work like? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 1661
138623 White lies ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 1323
138622 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138621 How do you try to find time for yourself and your loved ones... ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138620 HOMEWORK FOR 07.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What are some common... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138619 What makes a good parent? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 1773
138618 Homework empty ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04