¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 07.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-07-03 3110

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?

There are many kinds of hoarding.
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
Besides, we can't win to them. They are using a computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of hoarding?


There are many kinds of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
Among them of hoarding, limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season,
there was also a hoarding of masks and cold medicine.
>> There are different kinds of hoarding, like hoarding of limited edition items, concert tickets, and during the pandemic season, there was also hoarding of masks and cold medicines.
A few days ago, 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
>> A few days ago, there was 'Bruno Mars' concert held in Korea, and the ticket price was very expensive.
It's because of the hoarders.
>> CORRECT!
Anyway, there are many disadvantages of hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
First of all, if I want buy what items, but I worried about items price.
>> First of all, if I want to buy items, I feel worried about the item's price.
The reason why, hoarders buys items quickly more than normal people.
>> That's the reason why hoarders buy items quickly more than normal people.
And then later, items become the sold out, the hoarders sell items more higher price.
>> And then later, items become sold out; the hoarders sell items higher more than the normal price.
Besides, we can't win to them. 
>>  Besides, we can't win against them. 
They are using a computer programs.
>> They are using computer programs.
So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding for prevent hoarding.
>> So, these days the law has changed to illegal hoarding to prevent people from hoarding.
But, I don't know the effect about changed law.
>> But, I don't know the effect of the changed law.
Still I can find hoarder to easy
>> Still, I can find hoarders easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138966 Me ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1031
138965 Unforgettable memory with my friends. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1216
138964 August 2nd homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1204
138963 Do you think mobile telephones are dangerous in any way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1174
138962 Are home-cooked meals the best? What¡¯s the best thing to do... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1255
138961 Who do you admire, and how do they inspire you to be better? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 2
138960 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1684
138959 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138958 Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1372
138957 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138956 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138955 Children\'s using cell phone ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 4
138954 Organic food ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1179
138953 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 3
138952 2024.08.02 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1252
138951 Do you enjoy making snacks at home, or do you prefer buying them... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1542
138950 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 901
138949 Describe your hometown ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1666
138948 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138947 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04